1 Year Ago
As your editor is fond of pointing out, “history is happening all the time.” This week we look back only a year to a tongue in cheek article on the origins of the newest school periodical.
from The Hermonite, vol. LXXXV, no.9, p. 15; April 1, 2012.
Untitled and Unsigned
It is now more than two years since an irascible (and some would say irresponsible) Northfield Mount Hermon student decided not to write for The Bridge. In so doing, he joined the hundreds of other students entering our school each fall who don’t write for The Bridge. And yet he was unlike those students in that he had a mighty vision for a paper that would be not only a school newspaper, but a student newspaper as well. Did I say that he also thought he could produce a better newspaper than the one for which he decided not to write?
So it was that our intrepid founder rounded up writers, met with administrators, and even managed to strong-arm a semi-willing faculty member to serve as a de facto “advisor” to his nascent periodical; and in less time than it takes to say, “Student Life Curriculum” three times, very fast, he had managed to produce a full color newspaper which overturned all rules of journalistic integrity, offended or alienated virtually all of his initial allies, raised countless pairs of eyebrows, awakened the complacent “Bridgies” from a slumber unmatched even by Rip Van Winkle, even as it brought surreptitious smiles around the tables of both students and faculty members at Alumni Hall.
Despite those last positives on the list, and our founder’s relentless efforts to walk that fine line between hard-hitting news and outright slander and libel, and to teach us to do the same, the wheels may finally be coming off, and the train wreck everyone’s been predicting – some would also say, have been praying for – has at last come to pass. As you read on, you’ll see exactly what we mean.
Perhaps the time has come for the newspaper that has tried to tell it like it is for the past two years or so to admit one simple truth.
Even though we are an incredibly brilliant lot, it has become obvious to virtually all of our readers that we can’t handle the responsibilities associated with producing a first rate newspaper week after week, month after month.
Those who said we’d fail were, let’s face it, right.
Each passing issue has made this more and more plain.
Rather than continue the charade, we’re going to let the adults in the community show us how it’s done.
However hard we’ve tried, we know those grownups are smarter than we are.
Who knows, they might even be able to write a complete sentence or two devoid of comma splices and misspellings.
If you think we aren’t serious, think again.
Start rereading these paragraphs, carefully, from the top, paying attention to every word and see if you can determine what happens when you let an unqualified journalist take a seat in the editor’s chair.
Dire warnings to the contrary, The Hermonite continues to print frequently enough to be considered a periodical. And like its friendly competition in The Bridge offices, it insists on an April Fool’s Issue each year. That’s one deadline they NEVER miss.